Kool-Aid and Rainbows

This morning was an exciting morning! Shiloh is back on a nasty antibiotic for an ear infection and mommy forgot to get it flavored at Walgreens. Today, I put a little bit of koolaid powder in this morning's dose and she took it with out any complaints! Woo Hoo for not only fixing a mommy mistake, but finding a more economical way to flavor the meds! Then, as we were pulling out of the driveway I saw this magnificent rainbow! I finally got Shiloh to see it and she called it "pretty." When I got to the end of the road, you could see both ends of the rainbow... I think that was a first for me. I was in awe.

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If I ignore it....

....will it go away? Today is just one of those days when everything hits me all at once: The stress of our situation and uncertainty of what is to come, the worries of money and how we will survive, and the feeling disconnected from the world. Day in and day out, I try to look at the bright side and hope and pray for the best. I do research to affirm where we stand and the likliness of a good outcome. I have thrown everything I have into finding ways to make and save money, telling myself it will make a difference. I never stop racking my brain. However, I never seem to shake the feeling of being disconnected from the world. My only social outlet is work, and being that, is limited. I seem to have very little in common with the people who are easily accessible to me outside of my family, and very little time for those with which I can relate. I crave something creative...to paint, photograph, write, but by the end of the night, when I alot my self some time, I am too mentally tired...

I am a working mom

It is no secret if you know me at all, I am a working mom. I work full time. I leave my house at 6AM and barely make it home by 6PM, Monday through Friday. And then I work overtime some nights and weekends...like today. I am spending my Sunday working overtime. And then I also do photography on the side to make extra money. And I am active in my church's childrens ministry. It gets to be alot. Our lives are very hectic and sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Are my priorities right? I believe my work is important. I believe my work is necessary for my families survival. Sometimes my work is needed for my sanity. Even with a crazy work enviorment, sometimes it is mental break I need to function at home. However, as my children get older, the more I realize that I am missing thier lives. I've daydreamed about becoming a stay at home mom, but let me tell you, the numbers don't work. Even if we gave up all the ammenities...

I'm a WOH! Mom

I am a WOH! (Work Outside the Home) Mom. I don’t have a choice. My Husband and I both have to work to afford a 1200 sq. ft. house in a small town 45 minutes out of Nashville. We both have to work to afford two older vehicles (2002 and 2003). We both have to work to pay the electric bill, water bill and car insurance. We don’t have cable or satellite, we don’t have internet and we don’t spend money eating out. Most months we barely get by. If one of us decided to stay home and we got rid of one vehicle, we could only afford to pay $200.00 in rent. We would still make too much to qualify for any kind of state or federal assistance. So we both work. But, if I had the choice, I would still be a WOH! Mom. Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE to not HAVE to work, but I would still work. I would still send my daughter to preschool five days a week. For me, Preschool is a God-send. The group of teachers at her preschool are brave. They let the one year olds finger paint!! Preschool has taught my d...

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