....will it go away? Today is just one of those days when everything hits me all at once: The stress of our situation and uncertainty of what is to come, the worries of money and how we will survive, and the feeling disconnected from the world. Day in and day out, I try to look at the bright side and hope and pray for the best. I do research to affirm where we stand and the likliness of a good outcome. I have thrown everything I have into finding ways to make and save money, telling myself it will make a difference. I never stop racking my brain. However, I never seem to shake the feeling of being disconnected from the world. My only social outlet is work, and being that, is limited. I seem to have very little in common with the people who are easily accessible to me outside of my family, and very little time for those with which I can relate. I crave something creative...to paint, photograph, write, but by the end of the night, when I alot my self some time, I am too mentally tired to do anything but loose myself in a decent T.V. program. Those few times when I do get some "me" time, I feel I need to use the time for the benefit of my family. Is this the life of a working mommy and wife? If I ignore the feelings, will they go away?
The night the Easter Bunny was to visit our house, Zachary asked me: “Don’t you think the Easter Bunny is with Santa Clause and has Santa give him a ride on Easter?” Well you know, I don’t know. I remember asking Santa how he made it to all those houses in one night. I don’t think I’ve ever asked the Easter Bunny….anything! Now that Easter has come and gone, the Easter Bunny agreed to answer some essential questions. Me: “Do you live at the North Pole with Santa? EB: “No No, it is much too cold there for a bunny. I live in a hole in the ground.” Me: “Is this hole in the ground on Easter Island?” EB: “The location of my home is classified. Santa can give out his location since it is hard to travel to the North Pole, and the weather is frightful. My home is actually much more accessible and the weather is pretty nice.” Me: “Are you and Santa friends?” EB: “Oh yes! I am friends with the Tooth Fairy too!” Me: “How do you get all the candy for Easter?” EB: “Well, I started out making all t...
I know the feeling of wanting to do something creative and not having time. Think of it this way- Everyone says, "Enjoy these years, because they go so fast!" If that's true, you'll be painting and photographing and writing before you know it! :)
ReplyDeleteHope things get better for you soon.
I completely relate. I crave time with my friends and I crave time to do things I enjoy - but by the time I'm finished with work and taking care of my family, I'm beyond exhausted. Weekends could be used more effectively, but to be honest all I want to do on the weekends is curl up into a little ball and sleep. I just wish I had a solution . . .
ReplyDelete