....will it go away? Today is just one of those days when everything hits me all at once: The stress of our situation and uncertainty of what is to come, the worries of money and how we will survive, and the feeling disconnected from the world. Day in and day out, I try to look at the bright side and hope and pray for the best. I do research to affirm where we stand and the likliness of a good outcome. I have thrown everything I have into finding ways to make and save money, telling myself it will make a difference. I never stop racking my brain. However, I never seem to shake the feeling of being disconnected from the world. My only social outlet is work, and being that, is limited. I seem to have very little in common with the people who are easily accessible to me outside of my family, and very little time for those with which I can relate. I crave something creative...to paint, photograph, write, but by the end of the night, when I alot my self some time, I am too mentally tired to do anything but loose myself in a decent T.V. program. Those few times when I do get some "me" time, I feel I need to use the time for the benefit of my family. Is this the life of a working mommy and wife? If I ignore the feelings, will they go away?
I'm a pretty low maintenance girl. I am happy in my flip flops, jeans and tennis shoes. However, sometimes that girly side of me kicks in and I want to wear a cute pair of shoes. Many times, this cute pair of shoes involve high heels. After wearing the cute shoes for a few hours, I'm left wondering ladies...HOW DO YOU WEAR HIGH HEELS ALMOST EVERY DAY? Seriously. I got a new pair of boots for Christmas with a modest heel. They fit perfect and are super cute. I wore them to work for the first time the other day and came home with huge blisters on the ball of my feet. Now I don't have a job that requires a lot of standing and walking. I walk from my car to the office. From my desk to the break room or bathroom and back (2 or 3 times per day) and then back to my car at the end of the day. And yet, by the time I was hobbling (yes it hurt so bad I was actually hobbling). Yáll is was below freezing outside and I was actually contemplating taki...
I know the feeling of wanting to do something creative and not having time. Think of it this way- Everyone says, "Enjoy these years, because they go so fast!" If that's true, you'll be painting and photographing and writing before you know it! :)
ReplyDeleteHope things get better for you soon.
I completely relate. I crave time with my friends and I crave time to do things I enjoy - but by the time I'm finished with work and taking care of my family, I'm beyond exhausted. Weekends could be used more effectively, but to be honest all I want to do on the weekends is curl up into a little ball and sleep. I just wish I had a solution . . .
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