Sunday, December 8, 2013

I am a working mom

It is no secret if you know me at all, I am a working mom.  I work full time. I leave my house at 6AM and barely make it home by 6PM, Monday through Friday.  And then I work overtime some nights and weekends...like today.  I am spending my Sunday working overtime.  And then I also do photography on the side to make extra money. And I am active in my church's childrens ministry.  It gets to be alot.  Our lives are very hectic and sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. Are my priorities right?

I believe my work is important.  I believe my work is necessary for my families survival.  Sometimes my work is needed for my sanity.  Even with a crazy work enviorment, sometimes it is mental break I need to function at home.

However, as my children get older, the more I realize that I am missing thier lives.  I've daydreamed about becoming a stay at home mom, but let me tell you, the numbers don't work.  Even if we gave up all the ammenities (cable, cell phones, etc) it doesn't work...and then we couldn't afford the things our kids enjoy like baseball, gymnastics, vacations.  I've thought about finding a job closer to home, but honestly they don't pay as well and I would only be gaining an hour or so every day.  I could go part time, but once again...the money just doesn't work.

I would love to be able to spend more time with my family, make every school function, always have supper on the table, and still be able to provide for my family.  I see other people doing it, or getting very close to that goal, and I am jealous.  I really am.  I can't figure out how they made it happen, how they got lucky, what risk they took that I avoided.  Sometimes it almost hurts, as I watch them get thier dreams, when mine is so similar to theirs. 

But on the flip side, I do not appologize for being a working mom. My daughter went to the best preschool around, and I fully believe she learned more in her 5 years there than I would have had the sanity to teach her.  I know I am providing for my kid's future by working and I do believe they are being cared for.  I don't necessarily feel I am doing them an injustice, it's more of a regret that I have in what I missing out on in their lives.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

I got lost, but now I'm bbbbbbback!!

I'm back!!!  I've taken a 2 year hiatus in the blogging world, but now I am back...and a little more focused.  I will continue to blog on this site about my everyday life, challenges, thoughts, and creative writing.  However, I've started another blog Santa Safe that is all about protecting our kid's belief in Santa...and other Christmas material will be added.  Please go check it out.  I just started it tonight, and know it needs lots of work, so keep checking back.  I hope you'll find something that you like.

A lot has happened in the past 2 years.  I've changed jobs.  Shiloh has started Kindergarten.  I've been doing photography on the side to supplements my families income (that will be a whole other post).  Zachary is in middle School.  Jeremy still works crazy hours.  My dogs are still big. Very big.

I hope you'll welcome me back into your blog reading and I hope you enjoy my crazy ride.